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The latest blog posts

We already covered my guilt over letting my angst at men's results cloud my experience of watching the women last week, but you can double/triple/multiple by infinity when we had a game less than 24 hours after 10 months of emotional commitment was nuked in the blink of an eye… Read more
Published: 21 hours ago
Source: Demonblog.com
I feel guilty for not being more angry about what happened on Friday night. It was an undisputed fiasco, thrown away in a fashion that you'd point fingers at if the Pakistani cricket team was involved, and a fourth consecutive finals loss that leaves us the only side in the… Read more
Published: 2 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
As the only Melbourne team to win more than they lost for 7+ consecutive seasons since Norm Smith, it feels rude to lump our AFLW team in with the men, but that's what you get for starting a season at the same time as the finals. All those dead rubber… Read more
Published: 8 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When you're always waiting for something to go wrong, losing a thriller to the best side in the competition shouldn't feel so bad. But the occasion, the struggle, and the tease of an all-time great comeback in a hostile environment has left me dying on the inside. Win or lose… Read more
Published: 11 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
… even if it takes 40 minutes to warm up, and is assisted by the opposition playing like they'd seen a ghost at half time. In a 10 game season every win is vital, and coming back from two goals down to stomp a finals contender into dust is about… Read more
Published: 19 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Five years and a day before this game the original free hit was declared. Back then I was so happy just to make finals that it didn't matter what state they were played in. This caused me to ignore the fact that it wasn't really the stress-free occasion that it felt… Read more
Published: 24 days ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Sometimes it's ok when a win is as convincing as get well wishes from Jack Kevorkian. When all you need for the big picture are the premiership points, everything that led to getting them can quickly be forgotten.This was a confirmed case of getting what we wanted eventually, but not… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
I can think of about 150 Melbourne games over the years where the rest of the country had something better to do, but it's never been related to Australia simultaneously playing a knockout World Cup game. At some point in the late 90s (probably Round 21, 1997) the MCG scoreboard… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you watch long enough you'll eventually see your team lose as red-hot favourites. It's probably a good sign that for everything we've done wrong this century it's hard to think of truly catastrophic upset defeats. Sure, we were so bad for so long that it was almost statistically impossible… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you've been watching Melbourne long enough, you'll have reacted to the events of Saturday the same way I did – by expecting something to go wrong. The weekend started badly when Collingwood breathed life into Carlton's unlikely top four challenge, before wall-to-wall football errors in our favour the next… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Sir Edmund Hillary had less stress on his way up Mt. Everest than I did getting to the MCG on Sunday, so at what mercifully became the last centre bounce there was much bitterness that I'd missed our greatest modern-day comeback and instead turned up to see us fold like… Read more
Published: 1 month ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Any win by six points or less is special because you know it one kick could have snatched it away, but there's something extra memorable about a one point margin. My 2019 study into thrillers – including scientific measures like 'insane finish', 'context' and 'vibe' – showed it didn't need to be… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Once the last home and away game is done, it matters not a cracker how the wins were achieved. Plenty of premiership teams had wobbly but ultimately vital wins on the way so let's get together and reevaluate what this really meant in September. For now it felt like setting… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
You may remember the familiar feeling of our season seemingly cartwheeling off the rails when a malfunctioning attack cost us a win against the Giants. Unlike 2021, this version involved torrential rain and a massive payoff from the Northern Territory but you'll have to wait to find out if it… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
The fun never stops at Demonblog Towers, so as soon as I recovered from the Peruvian Llama Disease that caused so much trouble on King's Birthday, it was straight into COVID protocols. Next stop the Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis to have the immune system tested Mr. Burns style. Once upon… Read more
Published: 2 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Since starting this site in 2005 (!) I've consumed games in many ways. From listening through the AFL website in foreign countries, on zero sleep, seconds after waking up, and once in the case of an early pre-season game totally forgetting it was on. Monday was a new one, propped… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
And there you have it, we've finally seen our worst win of the 21st century. I'm not upset, where we've come from premiership points are welcome under any circumstances. Adjusted for our alleged contender status, the opposition teetering on the brink of disaster, and the most prestigious timeslot in the… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Sometimes you win a game in such filthy fashion that any evidence should be incinerated and thrown into the ocean. Sometimes you lose the same way and want players, coaches, and all associated stakeholders to be forced to watch it on repeat for the next week with their eyes forcibly… Read more
Published: 3 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When we were the first AFL club to temporarily rebrand under an indigenous name it didn't require fantastic imagination to see other sides following. It took two years, but here we were with the main event in any arena in the world clash between Narrm and Yaartapulti. Invitations probably not… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
I've come to terms with not committing Geelong 2011 style massacres against unfortunate teams, but at half time on Saturday I thought this might be the day we keep the opposition to a pitifully low score. We've had four goals or less a few times over the years, so at… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Dear readers, we regret to announce that Gold Coast are no longer completely shit. We'll never lose the comedy motherlode of them having a four figure fanbase, but their on-field time may finally be coming. On Saturday night they beat us forward, middle, and back, displayed a T-1000 like ability… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Last time I was at a wedding when Melbourne played, the result was successfully blanked out all night and I got home to watch us lose by 148 points. A decade on you're absolutely no chance of ignoring the result that long, so I caved to the inevitable and settled… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
It's official, this is going to be a weird season. Six weeks in and we've already had thumping wins over contenders, power cuts, surprise recoveries from major injury, mystery defeats, and now a memorable comeback in front of our biggest home and away crowd in nearly 60 years. God only… Read more
Published: 4 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Every time in the last two years we've threatened to fall over as favourites I've declared it the new Adelaide 2021. This was finally as close as you'll get, with every similar element other than being close enough to get ripped off by cowardly umpiring. We unexpectedly lost, at the… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If we were ever going to fulfil my prophecy of humiliating a team this season, it made sense to start with a rebuilding side, crippled by injury, hosting us on the ground of our greatest triumph. Under those circumstances some were probably slightly disappointed to win by just 63 points…. Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
For the first time since going back to shift work in 2019 a calendar error finally landed in my favour. Another game I expected to watch on TV ended up being the first of a handful I'll be able to attend in person this year. This should have been the… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Since discovering that Footscray are actually a steamy puddle of piss, last week's festival of entertainment doesn't seem so exciting. The first instinct after our follow-up flop against a better side is to evacuate baby with bathwater and reach for the Veil of Negativity but I'm not going into full… Read more
Published: 5 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
The moment the fixture arrived I was filled with panic about Round 1. In the dark times you weren't concerned about such things, you'd usually expect to lose so there wasn't much to be worried about. Even against sides at our level you knew that win, lose or draw the… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Here endeth another pre-season. They're not what they used to be. When I was a kid clubs could end up playing half a dozen games before Round 1, and unless they took place in the Fosters Cup you wouldn't know dick about what happened in them other than a score and… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Even as somebody who thought broadcasting pre-season games was the best thing to happen to TV since the Cathode-ray tube, I was surprisingly unmoved at the opportunity to watch 200 minutes of the most half-arse practice contest ever broadcast live in Australia. It's hard to take a round of games… Read more
Published: 6 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
There was a dark time when all our flags were so grand and old (or in some cases stolen) that soon no living person would remember them happening. Then the 2020s came along, the greatest global health crisis in a century somehow worked in our favour, and the Melbourne Football Club… Read more
Published: 9 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In the grand scheme of Australian sporting schedule cockups, you don't have to wait for all the good grounds in Queensland to be booked on Grand Final Day, just come to my place when the joyous occasion of a Prelim intersects with an equally important toddler related event, leaving my… Read more
Published: 10 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
One way or the other we've seen off every decent in the competition since 2017, except Adelaide. Even Brisbane, who could easily beat us to a flag in three weeks, were toppled in a final last year. But, until Friday night we'd never beaten the Crows in a seriously important… Read more
Published: 10 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you follow Melbourne long enough you'll keep finding things to surprise you. When I took this lifestyle on in 1989, I'd have scoffed at the idea of a women's team, with games broadcast live on an interconnected network of worldwide computers that also delivers on-demand viewing, gaming, and -… Read more
Published: 10 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If there's any reason to feel slighted while following a team neck deep in premiership contention, it's been watching every other established side in the competition rip an arm, leg, or both, off one of the expansion clubs while we missed out. Sure, there was the consolation of unleashing a… Read more
Published: 10 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Fans of Melbourne 1954-1964, Adelaide 1991-2019, and Geelong in general already know it, but following a side that wins almost every week is tremendously satisfying. It might not end in a flag (and for several years didn't even guarantee making the finals), but there's something calming about knowing you're objectively… Read more
Published: 11 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you're going to play in a competition with only three good teams, best to be inside the tent looking out. A lot has been said, not much of it complimentary, about how bad the expansion teams are but it must be hard for fans of foundation clubs like Carlton… Read more
Published: 11 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Say what you like about AFLW, but where else are you going to play a nautically themed team on a ground with a surplus Iraqi air raid siren? Well, to be fair, the 2015 men's pre-season – but when will you do it while watching a Melbourne side that wins… Read more
Published: 11 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
For all my whinging about starting AFLW season in September, it's nice to extend our Grand Final weekend winning streak be another year. Round 5 in a rushed season that's playing second fiddle to the men's finals and race hate scandals isn't nearly the same as kicking 100 of the… Read more
Published: 11 months ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Hello, I'm back again, crawling out from under the digital rock to get on with my footballing life post-straight sets. At least the men are still defending premier, at the time of writing, for another five days. Thanks again to guest reporter Olivia for stepping in last week while I… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
(Editor's note – I was already burnt out to a crisp, then the men being eliminated in farcical fashion sent me completely off the deep end. I look forward to crawling out from under the digital rock eventually, but in the meantime thanks to Olivia for taking the guest reporter… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
And so, after eight months of holding my breath waiting for everything to go wrong, it did. Our year in paradise is over, and given that the AFL can't even have silence for the Queen without getting in trouble we can't even lobby for the season to be cancelled and… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
If you're looking for coverage of the Friday men's game, go here. I wouldn't bother.Refer to last week's post for in-depth whinging about starting the AFLW season at the same time as the men's finals, but there's something extra suspect about playing a home and away game in the sport's… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
In 1990, John Longmire ruined my first visit to the MCG by kicking 14 goals. All these years later 'Horse' has delivered the Kenneth Pinyan treatment again, taking his side to a home Preliminary Final via the express route, while our premiership defence is left under intensive care with the… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Whoever the move to mid-year AFLW is meant to benefit, it didn't take into account the emotional conflict for those of us who have still got neck-deep interest in the men's game too. Sad, middle-aged types like me probably aren't their focus market, but there must be a lot of… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
Last week I threatened to go hee and stay there if we were a premiership team. I'm not entirely convinced yet, but might spend the week doing research on realestate.com.au just in case. For the conquering heroes went to a sold-out Gabba and returned having royally stuffed the locals, offering… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
It's times like this where I'm tempted to go back and rearrange old headlines so they can be used for games that suit them better. For instance, using 'Blue ROFL' on them nearly blowing a huge lead against us in a meaningless practice match now seems like a colossal waste…. Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com
When you think of great moments in psychological warfare thoughts usually turn to Genghis Khan catapulting human heads over city walls, Britain floating a body with fake invasion plans towards the Jerries, or Americans flushing out General Noriega via maximum volume Van Halen. Nobody expected that the next evolution in… Read more
Published: 1 year ago
Source: Demonblog.com